today my mother tells me

"it's been 36 years
since my mother passed

and just as long
that i can't remember her
at all

not even her voice"

and i think
how sad
to be that out of touch
with yourself

tonguage

take this distance
spit
back
words that make sense
derive meaning from instinct
and not logic
take this loss
of language
i live
in my always immigrant
state
stepping on land
my bones have not yet
turned to dust for
take this song
that lives
inside my throat
let me scream
the english
alphabet
out

i cannot speak
my truth
in the master's tongue

of longing

i dream of devouring
the red fruit
mouth
that breathes
release into a home
i do not go into
in your absence
made of night
and being unable to see
only knowing
my own ocean
of skin
only
when you are the moon
letting me back in